My Difficulties as "Ethnographer" vs. "Insider"

I have found the process of taking field note to be both challenging and interesting, as it was difficult for me to separate myself from the BGC itself and to not fully become one of the members of the community instead of an ethnographer. I did not anticipate this being a problem, and in fact I chose the BGC largely because I thought I would be more comfortable there and more able to access insider information. However, it seems to me that this insider information may have been more of a burden than an advantage, much like the ethnography we read about the med student and the ICU. I am, I think, overly informed and too much a part of communities like the BGC to be able to objectively observe and reflect without substantial effort on my part. This was not aided by the fact that the BGC is not by any means a place where it is easy to take a step back from the scene at hand, or to quietly jot down notes about the situations that unfold. Rather, there is continually someone that needs help or something that needs doing, and not doing either of those things means you're not doing your job as a service learner (at least in the eyes of the BGC). So where does this leave me in terms of field notes? Well, mainly, doing quite a bit of observation. Even then, though, I find it to be incredibly difficult to resist the urge to tell that small child dangling off a banister that he should probably find a better activity, or to join in on leading an activity with a particularly frustrated looking volunteer. However, I realized that this fact was a realization in itself about the culture and community that is present at the BGC, and as I looked around during my observations, I found my suspicions to be confirmed. Literally every adult at the Boys and Girls Club is either actively engaged in a task or very actively seeking one out - laziness is really not apparent. This is different from what I have experienced in other youth organizations where I have been involved, and is not what I had expected to encounter. In conclusion, I found that through my difficulties and frustrations with my field notes, I had made a startling discovery after all: those who spend their time at the BGC, for whatever reason, are truly motivated to energize and aid the club.